July 31st, 2012
MTC Provo
Sister Mack
Dajia hao!!!
Hoooooooooooly toledo how is my time already up? I'm going
to be heading out for Taiwan exactly one week from today!!!! Can I speak
Chinese yet? No. Am I a little nervous? Yes. Am I so so pumped and ready to go?
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh YES!!!!!!!!
Let me tell you about some experiences this week that have
been so perfect in preparing me for heading to the mission field. Sunday was
pretty much my power day. During sacrament meeting one of the members of our
branch presidency gave an incredible talk about faith. Oh and by the way this
was after I sang a musical number with 2 other Elders in my district
(WHAAAAAT?!) Yeah, I got tricked into it and then did a terrible job but it was
nice I guess. Anyway the speaker talked about how faith can be an extremely
powerful attribute but it is of no use and has no power unless it leads to
righteous living. True faith, he said, leads us to action, to sincere and
lasting repentance. I liked that a lot. Something that really touched my heart
was when he said "Is there any harm in having faith in God?" Then he
listed a bunch of incredible examples from the scriptures of wonderful people
who demonstrated fantastic faith like Enoch, Noah, Abraham and Sarah, David,
Samuel, etc. But then he said that there is no greater example of courage in
faith than is demonstrated by your investigators when they are willing to kneel
down and pray to God and ask him to help them know if he is there. He also
said, there is no greater example of courageous faith leading to action than
all of us missionaries in our branch, be willing to answer the call to serve
God for 18 months-2 years, to come and learn Chinese and try to preach the
gospel in that language all over the world. He told us that the miracles are
coming, and now is the time to really show our faith because as we read about
in Ether 12, we don't get the witnesses, the miracles, the testimony, the
conversion, until after the trial of our faith. We must live our faith
patiently and hopefully. He told a really cool story where a woman had the
realization after a testing of her faith when she heard these words in her
mind: "I did not still the wind, but I gave you strength to overcome
it."
Isn't that incredible? It makes me reflect on some totally
amazing things I studied in Ether in the Book of Mormon over the past couple of
weeks. I can't remember if I've already shared this but I'm sharing it again! I
love chapter 6 so so much. Ether 6:4 talks about how the Jaredites made all the
preparations to cross the sea according to the instructions of the Lord. It
says, "When they had done all these things they got aboard of their
vessels or barges, and set forth into the sea, commending themselves unto the
Lord their God." That is EXACTLY how I feel sometimes as a missionary. I
feel like all I can do is be obedient and try my best but even when I do that I
don't really know what I'm doing and I'm such an imperfect messenger. The key,
I think, is once I've realized that is to get up, brush the dirt off my knees
and say "Here am I, Lord. Send me." And then I will get on a plane
that will take me to Taiwan, commending myself unto the Lord my God and
literally go forth walking by faith because I don't know what to do, but God
knows. I need to stop leaning unto my own understanding (proverbs 3:5?) and
just allow Heavenly Father to direct my paths.
Verses 5-12 of this chapter are pretty amazing too:
"The Lord God caused that there should be a furious wind to blow upon the face
of the waters, towards the promised land [...] they were many times buried in
the depths of the sea, because of the mountain waves [...] and [...] terrible
tempests [...] caused by the fierceness of the wind [...]" but,
"there was no water that could hurt them."
"When they were encompassed about by many waters they
did cry unto the Lord, and he did bring them forth again. [...]
the wind did never cease to blow towards the promised land
[...] and thus they were driven forth before the wind. [...] and when the night
came, they did not cease to praise the Lord.
And thus they were driven forth; and no monster [...] could
break them, [...] and they did have light continually, whether it was above the
water or under the water."
I think what really strikes me the most about these verses
is that the wind never ceases to blow, but it is the very thing driving them to
their destination. The Lord causes this wind to drive them forward, but it is
also the cause of the mighty tempests and mountain-sized waves that throw them
about and plunge them into the dark depths of the sea. At the same time though,
they never cease to praise their God and He continues to let them have light
(see Ether 6:3).
When I first read this I thought about something I heard
while at the MTC...I don't remember if it was at a devotional or a clip from a
talk we listened to but someone said that our afflictions are not always a
small moment, but I believe that we always have access to the light of our Lord
Jesus Christ. Christ is the life and light of the world. He allows us to have
challenges which at times may seem to drown us or toss us around or crash down
into our lives, but we have the hope of Christ's divine sacrifice that will
heal us and give us strength. If we are able to look at our lives with an
eternal perspecitve, it is easier for our minds to be calmed because we see
that through our trials and afflictions, God is refining us and strengthening
us to receive glorious blessings, to receive eternal life.
In our darkest moments in the uncharted waters of our lives,
when tempests rage about us and we feel confused, afraid, defeated,
downhearted, or paralyzed with grief, we simply need to reach out and grab onto
the arm of our Lord which is ever extended. We need to receive that Heavenly
gift in our lives and ask our Father to give us light and oh how quickly and
freely he will give it!!! I believe these things are true! They have been
especially true for me as I have been preparing to enter the mission field.
On Sunday night we heard a great Fireside talk from one of
the leaders here at the MTC who is in charge of some sort of missionary
affairs....I forgot to write down exactly what. :P His talk got us so pumped up
and one of my favorite parts was when he talked about being like the people of
Ammon who buried their weapons of war. He asked us if we have any symbolic
weapons of war that are distracting us and that we need to bury. If we want to
be the best missionaries we can be we need to bury our childish things and step
up to this calling. My companion and I were both really struck by that idea and
I've been thinking about a few things I want to bury here at the MTC before I
head out for Taiwan. The first thing I thought of is fear. I need to just leave
it here. I have to stop worrying about my family and friends at home and trust
that they are in God's care, I have to leave behind any feelings of inadequacy
or anxiety that might stop me from being bold and following the promptings of
the Spirit. I feel so strongly about this, and I know that it's going to be so
hard and that I will be exhausted and that sometimes I will feel weary but I
will not let fear paralyze me, disable me, or disarm me. I do not want to have
any regrets about the amazing journey I am having as a missionary, and I know
that all things can and will work together for my good. The speaker then quoted
one of my favorite scriptures, 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. "For when I am weak,
then am I strong" as I rely on the perfect grace of Christ. He explained
that God will not ask for anymore than our ALL. And when that is not enough,
His grace makes up for it. I really believe that I am a joint laborer with
Christ as I spread His glorious gospel. It has changed my life and it continues
to change my life every day. I am so so grateful and humbled to be here, and I
am so excited to go to Taiwan and walk by faith and learn from my failures and
grow in love for God's children. I continue to learn so much every day.
I love you all so dearly, and am so grateful for the
influences you have in my life.
Wo ai nimen yongyongyuanyuan.
Ke Jie Mei
Coco
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