SPIRITUALLY UPLIFTED AND FIGHTING DISAPPOINTMENT

Dajia hao!

My darling family, my heart is so glad I feel like it could burst out of my chest. We finally got to watch General Conference!!! My companion and I were basically counting down the days, we were so excited. It brought a very energetic spirit into our companionship I think :) hahaha. We had some hard things happen this week, but listening to the words of God's prophet and apostles and chosen leaders has given me increased strength and resolve...I can't wait to re-read those glorious talks. I felt like God was speaking so directly to me in each message...sometimes in big ways and sometimes just in little ways like things I can do to be a better missionary and to have a more joyful mission. We are so so blessed to have access to their teachings. In between sessions on Saturday my companion and I hopped on our bikes and zoomed over to the bread stand on the side of the road down the street from the church and bought some hot rolls--I got one with taro inside and one with red beans. As we were biking back to watch the next session I had a really big mixture of feelings....on the one hand I was thinking about how fantastic it was that I was experiencing conference like this....with a few other missionaries (and some Taiwanese people who are super into English) watching General Conference a week late on a little TV in a classroom at the church while everyone else watched it in Chinese in the chapel...it's just so great. I also felt really sad as I looked at all the people we passed by...they have no idea what they are missing. We handed out a bunch of fliers and invited so many people to come but we ended up only having one investigator come to like the last 30 minutes of the Saturday afternoon session. It made me sad to think that they were missing out on such a spiritually strengthening experience, but even when we tried to tell people, they weren't interested. I am so grateful for the blessing I have in my life to hear the prophet of God speak His will concerning us His children. May I be better at helping others understand the tremendous blessings that are readily accessible if they will only lay hold on them!!! I especially loved Elder Uchtdorf's talk about finding joy in the journey and looking at your life with your heart to find the person you were designed to become....I feel like my mission is helping me to do that! It's so amazing. Each day I see more and more how much the experiences I have here are preparing me for the rest of my life.

We had something really sad happen this week. One of our investigators, Zhou JieMei, was scheduled to be baptized this Saturday. She seemed to be super golden and loved the Book of Mormon and coming to church...but for whatever reason she decided it's not what she wants. We were expecting her to show up to conference on Sunday, but she didn't answer her phone. In between sessions we went to look for her, then a member from another ward (Zhou JieMei is this woman's kids' piano teacher) was like "Oh by the way, Zhou JieMei told me to tell you she doesn't want to meet with you anymore and she doesn't want to get baptized cause she got baptized in a different church a long time ago." Needless to say, we were shocked and devastated. Could this be the same woman who so eagerly shared with us the things she was studying every day in the Book of Mormon? Could this be the same woman who took us out last week on our Pday to a really nice restaurant and then walked around a lake with us talking about life?? It couldn't be!!!! I felt so sad, because she was so close, and I know that she knew it was
right. I felt bad that she felt like she couldn't tell us directly that she had some concerns, and that her current solution is to just cut off all contact with us. I feel bad because we don't really know what happened. It's so hard when you see people being changed by the gospel and how happy they are and then something comes up (it's usually a mystery to us because they cut off contact), and they choose to give it all up. I still have hope that Zhou JieMei will find her way back to the Church...I don't know when or how but I know God is mindful of His children and when the time is right and she is ready, it will all fall into place.

Yesterday after conference we met with Jiang JieMei, our recent convert. She LOVED conference and took pages and pages of notes!! She is so solid. I thought about her and Zhou JieMei this morning during personal study...especially while reading in 3 Nephi 7. Verse 21 says: "there were but few who were converted unto the Lord; but as many as were converted did truly signify unto the people that they had been visited by the power and Spirit of God, which was in Jesus Christ, in whom they believed." The more time I spend with Jiang JieMei, the more I see how converted she is to the Lord. It is so thrilling to see her become more and more deeply converted to living His gospel. Her mind continues to be enlightened by her diligent study. She just becomes a happier and more radiant person. I know that Zhou JieMei loves God, too. I know it is important for me not to get down on myself because she is exercising her agency to choose not to come unto God through the way which we taught her. I am so grateful for all the talks in conference that talked about true conversion. I think it takes a long time, it is something we have to seek for throughout our lives. It is not a destination, but a process. I can hardly express all the things I am feeling...but it is something along the lines of: I am so blessed to have seen the beginning of Jiang JieMei's process of conversion to the Lord and to her Heavenly Father and their restored Church. Even if I never see another baptism for the rest of my mission, I have seen this tremendous miracle of a lonely woman who was an honest-seeker of truth, prepared by the Lord and guided to receive the fullness of His truth. I pray that Zhou JieMei can find her way there too. Maybe I'll never know if she does, but I know God has a plan for her just as he does for each of His children. He loves us so so much...more than we can ever fathom. I am so grateful to know that. I am so grateful to be a missionary and for the chance I have to help people find this joy in their lives, even if they don't always choose to accept it. Shall we not press on in so great a cause? Of course we shall :)

I love you all dearly,
Sister Coco Mack
Ke JieMei